CWC Creative Writing Club

A fun forum for students to add their own poetry and creative writing!


    a spooky start

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    dancingfish369

    Posts : 1
    Join date : 2009-06-02
    Age : 22

    a spooky start

    Post  dancingfish369 on Tue Jun 02, 2009 9:43 pm

    "BANG,CRASH,WALLOP!" These are the noises i can here. Some-one or Some-thing bouncing around down in the Dungens like a....oh i dont know
    Then all of a split second sudden the whole castle exploded, debry spraying for miles across the deserted, dusty, graveyard where gastly, ghostly figures were moveing as if they were floating and then everything stood stock still as if it had been paused.....

    "DAD?!" I bellowed questionly but nothing answered me apart from the hammering wind, They were still out.
    "Typical" I thought while stowing a glance at the clock.
    10 o'clock it read.They should be back by now.

    As i started to clamber the creaky old stairs a hoarse voice wrasped
    "Jamie!"
    "Jamie!"
    I shook like a jelly on a plate from head to toe.
    after slowly count to 10 i turned around and...

    "Where am I?"

    by sarah morris
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    Mrs P
    Admin

    Posts : 15
    Join date : 2009-05-19
    Age : 36
    Location : Stoke-On-Trent

    a great start

    Post  Mrs P on Fri Jun 05, 2009 11:26 pm

    A good start Sarah. Some nice attempts at description. You use a simile- 'i shook like a jelly on a plate' this is great, but a bit obvious. Try to be a bit more inventive and give the reader something unexpected.

    wonderful

    Mrs Posthill.

      Current date/time is Fri Dec 14, 2018 7:23 am