CWC Creative Writing Club

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    paranormal (my not gothic but paranormal story)

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    katieee! x

    Posts : 7
    Join date : 2009-05-21

    paranormal (my not gothic but paranormal story)

    Post  katieee! x on Wed Jun 03, 2009 10:01 pm

    confused She was a young girl when it happened, only the sweet age of 5. Such a blue girl, blue eyes and blue clothes and beautiful blonde hair. Always smiling, 2 older brothers, they were pretty much normal, same as any other ordinary family. Until one afternoon, she was at the park with her mother, on the swings, as she looked to the side and saw a girl about her age swinging on the swing beside her. They were exactly in time with each other; the girl was all in white, with light brown hair and dark brown eyes. She thought nothing of it and went home. When she sat down for her tea, the girl was stood next to her mother, watching every mouthful closely.
    “What’s wrong?” she asked the girl,
    “Who are you talking to darling?” her confused mother asked.
    “The girl, she’s right next to you!” she replied, pointed viciously. Her mother swung her head round, expecting to see a lost little girl, but nothing, nothing at all was there. They both forgot about it but the girl wouldn’t leave, she was there everyday, as if she was waiting for someone, or looking for something.
    “Now love, who’s this young girl you keep trying to talk to? Why do we never see her, is she an imaginary friend?” her mother sounded concerned, and thought maybe to take her daughter to a doctor.
    “She’s real. I know she is!” she screamed in her mothers face, but who was this mystery young girl. Was she an angel, or a lost spirit? After a few more weeks of the everlasting angel, her mother took her to the doctors; they ended up calling in Lisa Williams, a very good medium clairvoyant, and she said she had the same gift as herself. Her mother asked if there was anything she could do to help her daughter, but there wasn’t. Years went by, and the strange girl gave up and wasn’t seen again by anyone. If your wondering who the mysterious girl was, it was me, my name is Lilly and her name was Yizzie, I wanted to speak to her as a young girl, as I no longer know her, she was my best friend in the year 2009 and should have gone on to be my best friend until the very end but as time went on for her it went back for me and now I’m living in the past and will carry on living here, until I get back to where it all began … 2009.
    What a Face confused i know its not exactley GOTHIC but it was the best i could think of!!
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    Mrs P
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    Posts : 15
    Join date : 2009-05-19
    Age : 35
    Location : Stoke-On-Trent

    wonderful ideas.

    Post  Mrs P on Fri Jun 05, 2009 11:20 pm

    A good idea Katie, a lot happens in your story in a very short space. i think you needed to expand some of your ideas using more description to develop it into more of a tense, creepy tale.

    Fab ideas.

    Mrs Posthill.

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