CWC Creative Writing Club

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    childhood Memory

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    naboolio

    Posts : 4
    Join date : 2009-05-24
    Age : 21

    childhood Memory

    Post  naboolio on Thu Jun 04, 2009 6:02 pm

    Hi it's Tyler

    We where going on holiday! IT was a clear blue sky And we where on the plane when there was a tiny bit of trumatic turbalans and my mum started to panic as she would, so I sout realy loud "Get a grip woman" then I stand up and everybody is looking at me. I went bright RED like a tomato!!!! lol! Embarassed


    Last edited by naboolio on Sun Jun 07, 2009 10:26 am; edited 1 time in total
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    Mrs P
    Admin

    Posts : 15
    Join date : 2009-05-19
    Age : 35
    Location : Stoke-On-Trent

    short but sweet!

    Post  Mrs P on Fri Jun 05, 2009 11:30 pm

    this is a bit short Tyler! You need to use description to devlp your ideas. Although not much happened you could have described the plane and the turbulance to create tension. Try to use the senses that we workd on in class as a starting point.

    Mrs Posthill.
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    naboolio

    Posts : 4
    Join date : 2009-05-24
    Age : 21

    Re: childhood Memory

    Post  naboolio on Sun Jun 07, 2009 8:38 pm

    My sister's memory: Her firend was running around thier dorm saying do you snore all her other mates sad no they do not by the nighty all you could here in the small modern room was sounds of snoreing!!

    My sister's mate maceys memory is: SHe was having the most fantasic sllepover on the strock of midnight she was suddenly woken up by the soubd of what she thought was thunder what turned out to be her frined jumping on the bed pretending to be a prince for half an hour she then becsme board so they all were junping on the bed macy saying she is a princess and her mate pretending to be a prince

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